What the ****???
Two years.
For the last two years I have lived back here in my beloved Evergreen State.
I spend a grand total of four years of my life in Europe, 1994, and then 2001-2003.
That should be nothing compared to the twelve or thirteen years I've driven on the roads here, right?
Maybe I would be just as annoyed after driving for three years in Michigan, or Virginia, I don't know.
But the people on the roads here are driving me out of my freaking mind.
And come on, it is not like I had alot of play area to work with.
I am a woman on the edge, dang it!!
Just a few thoughts inspired by a lil drive the other day.
AN OPEN RANT TO THE BLANKETY- BLANK BLANK BLANKS WITH WHOM I HAD TO SHARE THE ROAD
Look, look right there!
See that thingee hanging in the center of your windshield is a REAR VIEW mirror,
you are suppose to use it to look behind you!!
It is not for checking your hair line, you haven't grown any since you left home!
It is not for applying your lipstick at 70 miles per hour!
You kill my kids cuz your Wet'n Wild got away from you, you better hope to gawd you got me too.
And while we are talking about mirrors,
there are these two things that hang off the side of your car...you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah... THOSE are designed to reflect the other lanes.
This is to suggest to you that perhaps, maybe you should LOOK the **** around from time to time!!
Yes, Virginia, there are OTHER PEOPLE on the freeway!!
And, let's work together here, maybe they are NOT going exactly the same speed as you.
Whoa, whadda thought!
And maybe if you are just barely going the bloody speed limit you don't really NEED to cozy up to the left side of the car in the middle lane and stay there till people are wishing painful and horrible deaths upon you and all your offspring.
MOVE RIGHT except to pass!!
Now, let's stay flexible here, and ponder this, if someone going about 10 MPH faster than you happens to merge into your lane well in front of you, you don't really NEED to tromp on the breaks or swerve around.
They are are in FRONT of you, and they are going FASTER than you,
physics woud seem to indicate you are NOT in emminent danger, dumbass.
See? This is where that "watching the cars around you" thing comes into play!!
You swerved like that cuz that car didn't exist in your world till it was right there in your lane, huh?
You weren't paying attention at all, were you? You have no idea how fast they are going or even where the hell they came from... mmm hmmm.
Colorful metaphors to all inattentive drivers.
Hang up your fricking phone if you can't use it without swerving all over your lane like a sloppy drunk and accelerating and deccelerating like a five year old in a bumper car.
And eat your fatty McGrease patty somewhere other than the highway!
I am feeling better now.
This is Logo,
and I approve this message.
For the last two years I have lived back here in my beloved Evergreen State.
I spend a grand total of four years of my life in Europe, 1994, and then 2001-2003.
That should be nothing compared to the twelve or thirteen years I've driven on the roads here, right?
Maybe I would be just as annoyed after driving for three years in Michigan, or Virginia, I don't know.
But the people on the roads here are driving me out of my freaking mind.
And come on, it is not like I had alot of play area to work with.
I am a woman on the edge, dang it!!
Just a few thoughts inspired by a lil drive the other day.
AN OPEN RANT TO THE BLANKETY- BLANK BLANK BLANKS WITH WHOM I HAD TO SHARE THE ROAD
Look, look right there!
See that thingee hanging in the center of your windshield is a REAR VIEW mirror,
you are suppose to use it to look behind you!!
It is not for checking your hair line, you haven't grown any since you left home!
It is not for applying your lipstick at 70 miles per hour!
You kill my kids cuz your Wet'n Wild got away from you, you better hope to gawd you got me too.
And while we are talking about mirrors,
there are these two things that hang off the side of your car...you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah... THOSE are designed to reflect the other lanes.
This is to suggest to you that perhaps, maybe you should LOOK the **** around from time to time!!
Yes, Virginia, there are OTHER PEOPLE on the freeway!!
And, let's work together here, maybe they are NOT going exactly the same speed as you.
Whoa, whadda thought!
And maybe if you are just barely going the bloody speed limit you don't really NEED to cozy up to the left side of the car in the middle lane and stay there till people are wishing painful and horrible deaths upon you and all your offspring.
MOVE RIGHT except to pass!!
Now, let's stay flexible here, and ponder this, if someone going about 10 MPH faster than you happens to merge into your lane well in front of you, you don't really NEED to tromp on the breaks or swerve around.
They are are in FRONT of you, and they are going FASTER than you,
physics woud seem to indicate you are NOT in emminent danger, dumbass.
See? This is where that "watching the cars around you" thing comes into play!!
You swerved like that cuz that car didn't exist in your world till it was right there in your lane, huh?
You weren't paying attention at all, were you? You have no idea how fast they are going or even where the hell they came from... mmm hmmm.
Colorful metaphors to all inattentive drivers.
Hang up your fricking phone if you can't use it without swerving all over your lane like a sloppy drunk and accelerating and deccelerating like a five year old in a bumper car.
And eat your fatty McGrease patty somewhere other than the highway!
I am feeling better now.
This is Logo,
and I approve this message.
posted by Logophile at
1/04/2006 01:38:00 AM
6 Comments:
have you ever driven amongst NJ/NY drivers? who are in a semi rural area but think they are still in the city? such fun. you should try it sometime!
Another annoying automotive factiod - the thingy sticking out of the steering column - its a turn signal!! Use it when turning - shut it off when you are done.
This is Snavy approving of Logo and her messege.
You tell em! Ever driven around Nashville? Terrible drivers here.
I agree with Snav on that one, those yellow lights in the front and rear of your car aren't to look pretty! They actually serve a purpose. To let everyone else know where the bloddy hell you intend to crappily stear your bucket.
Heh heh.
Well , I am sorry logo, i didnt see you behind me..you see i started this new mynoxidyl treatment and i just seem to be inexplicably drawn toward mirrors...anymirror...its like bald man tourettes..this sudden compulsion takes control and i have to look to see if there is any hair there yet!
You know, that stuff will make you impotent.
Huh?
I couldn't hear you. I was on my cell phone.
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