Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Another Critter Heard From...

To Whom it May Concern at EARL, APES, ERLA, & ACLU,

Greetings from VAGUE, The Vicuna and Guanaco Union Entity. It has come to our attention that there has been some debate as to the relative merits of alpacas versus llamas. While we are gratified over the open nature of discussions regarding South American ruminants we stil have some concern over mistreatment of minorities. The matters of incontinence and transvestism are mildly shocking but we here at VAGUE are a tolerant and cuddly lot. We understand, perhaps even better than our llama and alpaca bretheren, what it is to face discrimination.

Not once during this debate have the contributions of vicunas and guanacos been mentioned. Why, it's almost as if we'd never been heard of. You are all too busy squealing over corsets and adult diapers to show any regard for the humble Guanaco and Vicuna. That's the problem with you larger ruminants. You've got the matching egos if not the more highly evolved brains! Oh and the salivary glands too. Yeah, you think because you can hock a gallon of spit for 10 feet you are such hotshots! Bah, I wave my private parts at your auntie! I fart in your general direction! I blow my nose at you, you tiny brained wiper of Lime's bottom! Until such time as VAGUE rights are protected and promoted we shall raise our hooves high and taunt such lesser species!

Very respectfully yours,
Vicuna X and Ernesto 'Che' Guanaco

Death to the Llama!
Power to the Vicuna!

4 Comments:

Blogger S said...

Sweaters, I tell ya..that's all!

5/30/06, 10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See, this is why we don't let them out much, vicious lil bastards they are!

Llamas maybe taking the spotlight and the well paying jobs but at least they use their private parts for what they were intended for!
(see photo from Friday for verification)

5/30/06, 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah! What Susie said. And by the by, I tried one of your kinfolks at lunch today. You were right ... you don't taste like chicken more like a garlic encrusted tuna. I suggest a nice, fruity chardonnay to go with said relative and strawberry cheesecake for dessert. Yummy! I at her over five hours ago and you can't be poisonous bucause I feel .... AAAAACK!

5/30/06, 9:18 PM  
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

You tell 'em!!

5/31/06, 7:21 PM  

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