Let it be Known...

I have notarized forms from the Eastern Alpaca Recruitment League (EARL) detailing and certifying our efforts in employing alpacas during the production of posts at IA. This document outlines the great shortage of alpacas on the east coast due to the western monopoly in the alpaca trade. This lopsided situation has led to a glut of llamas on the east coast and do you know how testy llamas can get when they are glutted???? Document text to follow:


Dear Sir, Madam, or Alpaca,

Let it be known that we at EARL take seriosly the matter of alpaca inequity. One of our representatives was present during the wee hours of the morning when Lime and Snavy were forced to sack their writers, not once but twice, due to style and content problems. This representative has verified the combined efforts Lime and Snavy took to ensure adequate opportunities were afforded any interested alpacas. Lime personally wet herself in fear of being seen as discriminatory toward alpacas. EARL has noted the very minute representation of alpacas in the general population of the greater Boston metropolitan area and the Pocono region. We believe this is due to the very high concentration of alpacas an the west coast that has occured through artificial manipulation of the alpaca market by the Alpaca Producing and Exporting States (APES). The monopoly created by APES on the west coast is a serious problem. It leaves the east coast devoid of alpacas. This void is filled by a greater number of llamas, and let me tell you...EARL is up to its ankles in llamas spit as a result. It's as bad as moose bites! Killer bunnies are not this bad!

Very Sincerely Yours,

Norwegian Blue, EARL Undersecretary to the Assistant Vice President of APES Control