Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Another Critter Heard From...
Greetings from VAGUE, The Vicuna and Guanaco Union Entity. It has come to our attention that there has been some debate as to the relative merits of alpacas versus llamas. While we are gratified over the open nature of discussions regarding South American ruminants we stil have some concern over mistreatment of minorities. The matters of incontinence and transvestism are mildly shocking but we here at VAGUE are a tolerant and cuddly lot. We understand, perhaps even better than our llama and alpaca bretheren, what it is to face discrimination.
Not once during this debate have the contributions of vicunas and guanacos been mentioned. Why, it's almost as if we'd never been heard of. You are all too busy squealing over corsets and adult diapers to show any regard for the humble Guanaco and Vicuna. That's the problem with you larger ruminants. You've got the matching egos if not the more highly evolved brains! Oh and the salivary glands too. Yeah, you think because you can hock a gallon of spit for 10 feet you are such hotshots! Bah, I wave my private parts at your auntie! I fart in your general direction! I blow my nose at you, you tiny brained wiper of Lime's bottom! Until such time as VAGUE rights are protected and promoted we shall raise our hooves high and taunt such lesser species!
Very respectfully yours,
Vicuna X and Ernesto 'Che' Guanaco
Death to the Llama!
Power to the Vicuna!
Friday, May 26, 2006
And now For Something Completely Different
We at the ACLU( American Crossdressing Lumberjack Union ) have recently learned of the apparent imbalance of Alpaca usage in the production of blogs of quality. We of the ACLU feel a deep connection with the oft misunderstood alpaca. Being a lumberjack is difficult enough, try leaping from tree to tree in a dress/corset/and heels.
While Lime's incontinence is regrettable, we see no correlation between the usage of alpacas to write blogs and how many times Ms.Lime loses bladder control. It seems that outrageous housing costs and open hostility towards alpacas has lead to an alpaca migration of heretofore unseen proportions. Much like the unexplained epidemic in England when everyone became a Scotsman in the late 60's, leaving the Entire Country a veritable ghost town.
We of the ACLU realize that Lime and Snav man not be actively invloved in the systematic mistreatment of alpacas, one hiring attempt does not excuse a lifetime of turning a blind eye to the ongoing repression of alpacas.
Here, on the West Coast, the ACLU has created a warm and welcoming environment where both llamas and alpacas are free to live and clothe themselves as the gender of their choice in a mild climate where people are not being so critical of cultural differences vis. spitting.
many of my best friends are Alpacas and only a few of them are transvestites.
Paul Charles Bunyan(Mrs.) Lumberjack
Let it be Known...
Dear Sir, Madam, or Alpaca,
Let it be known that we at EARL take seriosly the matter of alpaca inequity. One of our representatives was present during the wee hours of the morning when Lime and Snavy were forced to sack their writers, not once but twice, due to style and content problems. This representative has verified the combined efforts Lime and Snavy took to ensure adequate opportunities were afforded any interested alpacas. Lime personally wet herself in fear of being seen as discriminatory toward alpacas. EARL has noted the very minute representation of alpacas in the general population of the greater Boston metropolitan area and the Pocono region. We believe this is due to the very high concentration of alpacas an the west coast that has occured through artificial manipulation of the alpaca market by the Alpaca Producing and Exporting States (APES). The monopoly created by APES on the west coast is a serious problem. It leaves the east coast devoid of alpacas. This void is filled by a greater number of llamas, and let me tell you...EARL is up to its ankles in llamas spit as a result. It's as bad as moose bites! Killer bunnies are not this bad!
Very Sincerely Yours,
Norwegian Blue, EARL Undersecretary to the Assistant Vice President of APES Control
I am the Logo, I speak for the Alpacas
I am once again being pressed into service in my role as Official spokesperson for the Equal Representation League for Aplacas.
I have to say when the Village Idiot roped me into volunteering for this gig it was with the clear understanding I would not have to work on holiday weekends, so of course, here I am working on FRIDAY, right before a holdiday, sheesh.
Here in the northwest we have a high population of alpacas and it has been brought to our attention that this often overlooked, misunderstood, and under-appreciated animal is again being dismissed by those of a North American, east coast bias. While we understand that it may not be the intention of those parties involved to discriminate against our gentle furry friends we wish to lodge a complaint against those responsible and we request that you stop this heartless mistreatment of this overlooked members of the camel family. They are a fine, lovely, and valuable member of the animal family and their coat makes great sweaters. How can you ignore their cry,
"help, help, we're bein' repressed!"
You Asked For It...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
..It's fun to stay at the Y M C A!!!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
What size is your bra ?
A man walked in to the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said " I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
"What type of bra ?" asked the clerk
"Type?" inquires the man "There is more than one?"
"Look around !" says the sales lady as she showed a sea of bras in every shape , size ,color and material imagineable .
"Actually with all of this variety there are really only four types to choose from."
Relieved , the man asked about the types and the sales lady replied:
"There are the Catholic , the Salvation Army , the Presbyterian and the Baptist types . Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled , the man asked about the differences between them . The sales lady replied:
"The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts the fallen , the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills"
Have you ever wondered why A, B , C , D , DD , E , F , G and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why , but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for , it is time you became informed !
(A) Almost boobs...
(B) Barely there...
(C) Can't complain!
(DD) Double dang !!
(E) Enormous !
(G) Get a reduction ....
(H) Help , I've fallen and I can't get up !
They forgot to add the German bra
So ladies , now you know all about the bra sizes !
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Hijackers love the great outdoors~ HNT
Here is Lime, enjoying a quiet moment on a stump at the beach.This is our Snavylyn enjoying the fruits of her garden...or something.
Pretty flowers!Here is Breazy at the beach, one of her favorite spots too. Here is the Village Idiot, engaging in one of his favorite outdoor past times.
And here is Logophile and offspring riding a real bike.
Happy HNT everyone, hope you are getting out there and having fun!
(Click the names at right to visit the Hijackers at their own blogs)
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Woweee!!!!! Can this be real?
Friday, May 05, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Stolen People HNT
Lime has every reason to SCREAM lately, what with her arm and now her sons thumb too! Let it all out Lime baby!
Ok this picture of The Idiot is SO worth a second look, dont you think?
Breazy honey, we need you to get a digital camera! Mwah!
Logo baby, look at that tongue, that's why we love you!
Snavs darling, you are looking lovely as always!
Thom honey, take a break willya?
And oh, hee hee, its me, Susie! I'd better run now before the rest of these Hijackers catch up with me and flog me for stealing their pictures! HHNT Y'all!